Sara in the Attic


Magpie Tale # 24

Sara waits, and waits and waits
Wanting more, and more and more
Gets less, and less and less
Until nothing is left anymore

The unmade bed
captured her scent
Words she meant

The sunlight
hung in the room
Left to doom

The windows
shut in haste
A closed phase

The blue
of her eyes
Turned to ice

The grey
in her heart
Turned to death


This is a Magpie Tale. Weekly host Willow continues to draw poets from around the world to her wonderful poets' sanctuary. Here, we share another chapter from Sara's life.
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23 comments:

  1. Kathe W.July 24, 2010 at 6:59 AM

    yow- so many of us saw desolation in this room. Well done.

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  2. swputhJuly 24, 2010 at 7:15 AM

    Your first para is beautiful... I felt easy singing that.:)

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  3. RAJuly 24, 2010 at 7:15 AM

    WOW! So much pain can only be beautiful. :)

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  4. ninotazizJuly 24, 2010 at 7:33 AM

    So true - except for RA [lucky you], everyone was affected by the grey,colourless world.

    And I really thought at first I should have left out the first para - now I am glad I didn't!

    Thank you for dropping by!

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  5. Gabriela AbaloJuly 24, 2010 at 8:26 AM

    I like it... sad and powerful

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  6. Carrie Van HornJuly 24, 2010 at 9:30 AM

    Such a painful, yet beautiful poem. You have captured the experience of pain and loss of hope in this poem. Beautiful writing...it would also make an awesome song. :-)

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  7. HelenJuly 24, 2010 at 9:35 AM

    I feel for Sara ... sadness surrounds her today! Nice writing!

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  8. CHummelKornellJuly 24, 2010 at 9:55 AM

    I agree, powerful but extremely sad. Well done.

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  9. Tattered and LostJuly 24, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    Very nice.

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  10. signed...bkmJuly 24, 2010 at 2:51 PM

    nice piece, but I hope she did not die...that would be too sad..bkm

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  11. Arian TejanoJuly 24, 2010 at 8:36 PM

    That's some good progressive verse, well done :)

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  12. Tumblewords:July 24, 2010 at 8:54 PM

    Creative look at the prompt. Sad but strong post!

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  13. Eric S.July 24, 2010 at 9:20 PM

    Such sadness and pain captured in simply beautiful verse. I could never say so much with so little. Wonderfully done.

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  14. Eric S.July 24, 2010 at 9:21 PM

    Interesting that the word verification was "lyrical"

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  15. ninotazizJuly 25, 2010 at 7:21 AM

    Dear Gabi, Carrie, Helen, Connie & T&L
    Don't we all love sad stories? Though I can't see it as a song, Carrie.
    Sara has become my Ambassador of anguish. Great to see you here again.

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  16. ninotazizJuly 25, 2010 at 7:22 AM

    Dear bkm, thanks! There are many forms of death.

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  17. ninotazizJuly 25, 2010 at 7:25 AM

    Arian, really love your work. Love seeing you here.

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  18. ninotazizJuly 25, 2010 at 7:31 AM

    Dear Tumblewords,
    Thank you!

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  19. ninotazizJuly 25, 2010 at 7:34 AM

    Dear Eric,
    Some of us write prose, and some write poetry. I love both but find both difficult and have to work at it.

    Thank you!

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  20. christineJuly 25, 2010 at 10:27 AM

    So sad and painful I felt the pain.These were my favourite lines....'The sunlight
    hung in the room
    Left to doom.' Very powerful

    Christine

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  21. ninotazizJuly 25, 2010 at 6:42 PM

    Thanks Christine for dropping by.

    Loved you magpie too!

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  22. Tess KincaidJuly 27, 2010 at 6:23 AM

    Dark and delicious.

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  23. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010 at 8:46 AM

    Conveys the pain so well.. wonderful poem ninotaziz

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