The violin

Snowflakes fall and melt
Last notes of the violin
Do fade away -


flocons de neige
la musique du violon
disparaître
____________________________


I was never good at haiku, the rules being very exacting. So, when Chevrefeuille's weekly Tackle It Tuesday was about Back To Basics, I thought it would be a good time to try my skill at proper Haiku.  

23 comments:

  1. And it is so beautiful, my friend!!!! I can almost hear the notes, fading away.

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    1. When a haiku is called beautiful, that is the best compliment. Thank you Sherry. Are you back fr your trip?

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  2. Ninot Ma'am
    Great haiku, certainly! Strains of music soothes the savage breast so said the Bard! And violin music is the ideal medium

    Hank

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    1. Dear Sir Hank,
      You are right! the violin was the perfect music for this piece, wasn't it?

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  3. I absolutely adore these lines Ninot!!!

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    1. I am afraid I am still dissatisfied. I am not sure how many syllables does snowflakes and violin represent. And am trying to feel the deeper meaning - which is lost love. Not philosophical enough, I think.

      But as a little poem, it is quite pretty, right Carrie?

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  4. Beautifully penned haiku ~ (A Creative Harbor)

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    1. Thank you so much - my tryouts at haiku has been a lovely experience.

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  5. Good day Nino Taziz, thank you for being part of Tackle It Tuesday. I am glad that you have found the way to my haikublog.
    You did a great job with this haiku, however not exactly as I had hoped. But in this you're not alone. This week's theme was meant for writing a haiku (or more) in the classical way and I think I wasn't clear enough in giving the theme. Maybe (because English is not my maiden language) the syllable-count is different than I am used to in Dutch. I count 6-9-6 syllables (as I count them in the Dutch way). The classical structure of haiku is 5-7-5 syllable-count. I have tried to re-write your haiku, but I couldn't find the right words to say the same as you have done. If I come up with a re-write of your haiku I will come back here on your blog.
    By the way your blog is a joy to watch and to read. I hope to see you again on Tackle It Tuesday.

    Warm greetings,

    Kristjaan Panneman (a.k.a. Chèvrefeuille)

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  6. What a lovely comparison....Very delightful haiku...<3

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    1. Dear Valli,

      I loved your peacock haiku and the vision of it singing in the rain still stays with me. Thank you for being here.

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  7. You did well. This revised version is back to basic, back to the classical way of writing haiku. You painted the same picture with your new revised haiku as you did with the old version.
    Thank you for sharing this with Tackle It Tuesday.

    Namaste

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  8. Dear Kristjaan,

    I was initially very unsure of the syllables too. And I also wanted to adhere to the kigo and the philosophical outlook.

    Well I have revised it and I hope it is now of traditional haiku form.

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  9. Dear Nino, your haiku is beautiful in imagery and deeper meaning. The metaphor of "lost love" works well with the season you chose (winter) and the melancholy of music fading away. For the correct syllable count, I always consult a dictionary which breaks down each word into syllables with dashes. Right now your count is 4-7-4, so you need to add a syllable to the first line and a syllable to the last line to make it 5-7-5. A gorgeous haiku! :)

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    1. Dear Loredana,
      Thank you so much for your words and for seeing the kigo and philosophy in it. I am still adjusting the syllables, I note that - is considered a syllable? I will check out more haiku from masters to get the feel of this.

      Meanwhile, I will try to do this in French (ambitious, as I am already having so much trouble with my haiku?) because it is such a 'pretty little poem' of love, don't you think?

      Love your blog, imbued with nature.

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    2. Dear Nino, your second revision is perfect, and it sounds pretty in French. Yes, I think a dash counts for a syllable. Another traditional syllable count for haiku is 3-5-3, even shorter but still classical. Glad you liked my blog. I do tend to take lots of nature photos but also of New York City and write longer poems, too, besides haiku. :)

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    3. Thank you, I have added you to my blogroll. New York is one of those cities I had a solo adventure in. I am quite a timid traveller nowadays but there was a time I travelled to New York City by train and walked the streets of Manhattan all by myself, drinking in the sights and people.

      It was lovely.

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  10. 'All good things come to an end' as your haiku appears to say....however, the end is never permanent......

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    1. Dear Joanne
      This particular poem is inspired by my personal experience and I am today, far happier than I have been, love wise and I thank God for that.

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  11. Replies
    1. Thank you Raven. I am glad you loved it. And I loved visiting you. I am halfway there on the best friend partnership - looking forward to 30 years like yours!

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  12. Hello Nino,

    It is a beautiful Haiku indeed. It started with something falling down from far up in the sky, touches the ground and melts as the violin reaches the final note and finally ended with a great silence. I didn't know that haiku has strict rules.

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  13. Hello Zunnur,
    I love the way you see this poem. Your interpretation is perfect.

    To me, Haiku and the pantun are the two most difficult poetry to write. Haiku - because of the strict 5-7-5 or 3-5-3 syllable requirement, kigo and philosophical slant. Pantun - to find the correct metaphor that echoes or hint at the actual meaning ! Most complicated but satisfying.

    Most other poetry are free style.

    Long before I studied poetry, I had written hundreds of my own, and later realized they actually, unknowingly, take up some form established by long ago masters.

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