An Experiment in Haiku and Trireme Sonnet

 Bastet




scorching summer breeze
she stood gazing at the Nile
a goddess, no less


***

Bastet, she ruled in great royal chambers
A life of joy and dance permeated
Thousands of years of exquisite sublime

Sun-God Ra's bewitching lovely daughter
Above all, she held her cats most sacred
To run through temples of the most divine

Her court of cult and loyal followers
Adored her - she was both feared and revered
Her grace, aggression, seduction combined

If I could live but, a joyous hour
In those ancient times with my beloved
To walk by her side, and to make her mine

To live, and die - beheld by such power
To be loved by so tender a lover



words by ninotaziz. all rights reserved
____________________________________________________________


Once again, Samuel Peralta entices us, this time to try something not quite new - yes, a sonnet, but a structured one that promises to be an exciting experiment - what he terms as a Trireme Sonnet. I was thrilled to be introduced to the work of Heather Horton of Canada - and I admit, I am always happy to be reminded of the land I spent growing into adulthood. Her artwork "Sasha, Sun"  inspired the poem above.

I think I am going to trip over iambic pentameters but I will give it a try.
Lovely introduction and prompt Samuel, over at dVerse.

And  a little haiku as well. Thank you.





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43 comments:

  1. Sabio LantzMarch 1, 2013 at 2:14 AM

    The rhyme and feel were smooth.

    I did not know about Bastet and looked her up -- it seems the pronunciation may be "ubesti". 'Twas a fun read.

    Your fourth stanza talks about your "beloved" -- and that would be the cat goddess? "To make her mine"? The lines threw me a bit. A fun turn in the poem where you become the lover of a furry goddess. Interesting. Dream big! Why not.

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    1. ninotazizMarch 1, 2013 at 2:37 AM

      Why not, Sabio? It was meant to change the pace in the poem - We are talking magical realism.

      Cheers!

      Delete
  2. brudbergMarch 1, 2013 at 3:07 AM

    I have thought about merging sonnets and haiku and connect them like a haibun. This is excellent, and I think you should do more.

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    1. ninotazizMarch 2, 2013 at 12:03 AM

      Dear Björn,

      Thank you for that suggestion. I have been moving towards using the haiku as a strong opening for a piece of work. And will try to expand this. I actually love the haibun!

      Delete
  3. Brian MillerMarch 1, 2013 at 3:13 AM

    I thought the turn in the poem was def very cool and worked the magical realism nicely ninot...what an interesting thought to be able to go back and walk among the gods...or to even take one as a lover...in the old stories it happened so....very nicely done ninot.

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    1. ninotazizMarch 2, 2013 at 12:05 AM

      You know how these poems are Brian, they twist and turn at their own will. But I definitely enjoyed this experiment in form.

      Delete
  4. Laurie KolpMarch 1, 2013 at 5:36 AM

    Divine! I really like this, especially:

    Her court of cult and loyal followers
    Adored her - she was both feared and revered
    Her grace, aggression, seduction combined

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ninotazizMarch 2, 2013 at 12:13 AM

      Thank you Laurie...I am really glad you liked it.

      Delete
  5. Kathy ReedMarch 1, 2013 at 7:11 AM

    As Brian said, in the old stories the magical realism was paramount...you captured Heather's art exactly here with a fine write ;)

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  6. AnonymousMarch 1, 2013 at 7:20 AM

    Really love your poem. Takes us into the magic of Ancient Egypt:)

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    1. ninotazizMarch 2, 2013 at 1:50 AM

      Thank you Tiger for taking the journey with me!

      Delete
  7. AnonymousMarch 1, 2013 at 10:12 AM

    Ninot - I love the way you intertwined cultures - Japan (haiku), late-medieval European (sonnet) and ancient Egyptian here.

    A small tweak - Above would work better than among (IMO) at the start of the middle of your second tercet.

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    1. ninotazizMarch 2, 2013 at 4:16 AM

      Dear Tony,
      I have always loved reading fairytales, and that extended to legends and epics. I started out with fairytales in earnest, then Arabian, Malaysian, Greek, Indian and then I just sort of globe trotted the folklore path. Friends bought me folklore books of this and that country they visited!

      Thank you for the suggestion, it is certainly much better!

      Delete
  8. kelvin s.m.March 1, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    ...i always love reading stories of yore from such a passionate storyteller like you Ninot... a wonderful experience to me... smiles...

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    1. ninotazizMarch 2, 2013 at 4:18 AM

      Dear Kelvin,
      Glad you love them. I have quite a collection of Philippino folktales up my sleeve too!

      Delete
  9. kaykualaMarch 1, 2013 at 3:26 PM

    Ninot Ma'am,
    Ancient stories brought to life again. It'll come as gems from you. It fascinates me as it's a rare offering all the time to have glimpses of them. Thanks for sharing!

    Hank

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    1. ninotazizMarch 2, 2013 at 4:20 AM

      Dear Sir Hank,
      So lovely that you enjoy these little offerings of mine. I hope to put up some of our own soon...

      Delete
  10. SemaphoreMarch 1, 2013 at 7:27 PM

    Wonderfully conceived! I saw the haiku as an effective epigraph to the trireme sonnet, which was well-executed as well. Love that you chose Sasha as the inspiration for this, that makes up the ekphrastic part - and the magic realism? Evoking the Egyptian Bastet is perfect, and the voice you use, as of one enraptured by that age's mysticism, is amazing. Great job!

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    1. ninotazizMarch 2, 2013 at 4:39 AM

      I love these challenging forms, Samuel and while I trip here and there over its formation, I enjoy the whole process immensely. The fact that I can use it to present what I love the most, i.e. storytelling, is a bonus.

      Thank you for leading a great session, I look forward to other little treasures you have for us.

      Delete
  11. SemaphoreMarch 2, 2013 at 9:58 AM

    Thanks, and I agree with your thoughts about the process - the journey can be as wonderful as the destination.

    ReplyDelete
  12. anthonynorthMarch 3, 2013 at 4:04 AM

    An excellent interpretation of ancient Egyptian mythology.

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    1. ninotazizMarch 3, 2013 at 11:16 PM

      Thank you Anthony. It is so rich, and offers inspiring and exciting glimpses into ancient times.

      Delete
  13. AnonymousMarch 3, 2013 at 4:46 AM

    If forms were not a spur to creation they would be poor indeed. There is no danger of this here: it is a great piece. Not too fixed to lose the flow, not too loose to fall into prose. And Bastet is a great subject (and I say this watching my cat in case she gets ideas of grandeur into her head).

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    1. ninotazizMarch 3, 2013 at 11:19 PM

      I have three cats Gavin, and we will keep this secret - just how much we adore them !

      Thank you for your kind words. It is such a difficult thing for me to make it flow, prose is too strong in me. I will myself to pare down words.

      Delete
  14. Sherry Blue SkyMarch 3, 2013 at 8:28 AM

    You rocked the form, kiddo. I especially love "If I could live but a joyous hour ....... with my beloved"

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  15. MaryMarch 3, 2013 at 11:28 AM

    I always love your ancient stories in verse whenever/wherever you share them!

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    1. ninotazizMarch 3, 2013 at 11:20 PM

      Mary, that made me so happy because all I want to do is tell stories...

      Delete
  16. Judith WesterfieldMarch 3, 2013 at 12:36 PM

    You are such an inspiration for creativity. Combining forms, ancient and modern in both story and mood is brrrrrrrrrrrriliant

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    1. ninotazizMarch 3, 2013 at 11:22 PM

      Why, thank you Judith. This is what I feel everyone does - for we are all storytellers in one waay or the other...

      Delete
  17. Brother OllieMarch 4, 2013 at 6:53 AM

    from Japan to Egypt - a great poetical trip

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  18. HazelMarch 5, 2013 at 7:24 AM

    Whoa! Egypt! And right now I'm listening to Kenny G and Peabo belting out By the time... feeling glam right now :)

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  19. AnonymousMarch 5, 2013 at 10:56 AM

    the sonnet was well crafted abd the haiku striking i like how you worked the last line it gives the reader a moment of pause!

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    1. ninotazizMarch 6, 2013 at 1:54 AM

      Thank you, I had to have a relook, and i see what you mean! Thanks!

      Delete
  20. AnonymousMarch 5, 2013 at 5:09 PM

    Nice international take on haiku theme. I love mythology.

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  21. TCPCMarch 5, 2013 at 9:50 PM

    tender and bold! loved the haiku and the walk down the history with a "I wish I were..."

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    1. ninotazizMarch 6, 2013 at 1:56 AM

      Would love to be in ancient Egypt. Not to sure about Egypt today.

      The world has become so unpredictable.

      Delete
  22. AnonymousMarch 6, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    This is a great endeavour!

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  23. Eliz FrankMarch 8, 2013 at 10:47 PM

    I love the precision of your haiku. Your poem was beautiful too... wistful.
    Eliz

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