Midnight Script



image by Daniel Murtagh

In the shadow of the crescent moon, the script of life unfolds for lovers alone.

midnights in summer
celebrate young love and thoughts
of you linger -

Alas, the crescent moon is transient, often lovers are too - and they act out the pre-destined poignant play of lovers doomed.

____________________



I started out tonight to create a haiku that fulfills both the haiku rules and Collom's lune structure. We'll see what happens... Well, here it is. I chose the haibun form. 

It was quite a challenge!



by ninotaziz. all rights reserved



Posted by at

61 comments:

  1. Brian MillerJanuary 5, 2013 at 6:54 AM

    nice...i like your lune....puts me in the mind of those young live...mine were often summer and gone too fast...smiles.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 5, 2013 at 4:01 PM

      Thank you Brian! Alas, I missed the link again. No matter. Enjoy the thoughts of summer love.

      Delete
  2. HelenJanuary 5, 2013 at 7:35 AM

    Beautiful .......

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 5, 2013 at 4:02 PM

      Thank you beautiful woman! How is 2013 for you Helen?

      Delete
    2. HelenJanuary 6, 2013 at 7:24 AM

      .. right now I am missing my oldest and youngest sons who traveled to spend the holidays with me.

      Delete
    3. ninotazizJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:59 AM

      I am already entering this phase, Helen. Missing my daughter in university and soon another will follow suit very quickly...

      Delete
  3. anthonynorthJanuary 5, 2013 at 7:47 AM

    Perfectly done.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 5, 2013 at 4:03 PM

      Dear Anthony, thank you so much. Love was an easy subject, but the form was challenging!

      Delete
  4. Sherry Blue SkyJanuary 5, 2013 at 7:56 AM

    So beautiful! I love the form you chose.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 5, 2013 at 4:07 PM

      I like writing haiku, Sherry but need to develop the art of creating a deeper feel.

      Delete
  5. JazzbumpaJanuary 5, 2013 at 1:56 PM

    Very nice.

    And I learned something.

    Two kinds of lunes, when I knew of none.

    Cheers!
    JzB

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 5, 2013 at 4:08 PM

      Lunes are new to me too. I love the idea that they are named after the 13 lunar months.

      Delete
  6. kaykualaJanuary 5, 2013 at 3:55 PM

    Ninot Ma'am,
    The lune form is versatile allowing syllabic or word counts. You've done it brilliantly here!

    Hank

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 5, 2013 at 4:09 PM

      Thank you Sir Hank. I love discovering new variations and forms to explore.

      Delete
  7. Abu ZunnurJanuary 5, 2013 at 4:33 PM

    Time goes quickly when lovers meet each other, and they always hope for the moment to last longer. Beautifully written, Ninot!
    I didn't know about the lune form until I read your post today.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 5, 2013 at 5:46 PM

      Thank you Zunnur. Yes, love does that. Love your writing, Zunnur, do not stop...

      Delete
  8. Sandra CrookJanuary 6, 2013 at 6:18 AM

    Beautifully done.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 6, 2013 at 8:06 AM

      Dear Sandra,
      I promptly went over to visit and was hooked the moment I saw your page Cruising in France. I try very hard to learn French - it is difficult with not too many to speak to on a daily basis. Loved the success you have enjoyed being published - perhaps you should pick up that 85000 manuscript again?

      I have been writing forever and have had long quiet periods of not writing, sometimes for years. But now I am seriously inspired to write novels. It has been a long road and there are no detours and shortcuts in sight - I just have to continue to see where I end up.

      Thank you for stopping by.

      Delete
  9. menopausal mamaJanuary 6, 2013 at 7:02 AM

    This is very beautiful!

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  10. ninotazizJanuary 6, 2013 at 7:53 AM

    Thanks Tess! Beautiful image I must say that just made me want to - well, dress up and walk in the moonlight...

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  11. Laurie KolpJanuary 6, 2013 at 8:58 AM

    Nothing like young summer love...

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  12. UnknownJanuary 6, 2013 at 9:43 AM

    celestial, baby :)

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 7, 2013 at 8:37 AM

      Thank you for that Rene. How lovely of you...

      Delete
  13. Stafford RayJanuary 6, 2013 at 11:51 AM

    Haiku-shaiku! The poem is beautiful because of its expression of universal experience shared, true in any form. But this form suits it well.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 7, 2013 at 8:38 AM

      Yes, Stafford. All the world loves love. Happy New Year !

      Delete
  14. Kathe W.January 6, 2013 at 12:33 PM

    very lovely indeed.

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  15. hyperCRYPTICalJanuary 6, 2013 at 4:09 PM

    Oh just lovely, lovely, lovely!

    Anna :o]

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  16. 21 WitsJanuary 6, 2013 at 8:54 PM

    It reads for me, as if it rolled sweetly from your thoughts!

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  17. Little NellJanuary 7, 2013 at 3:20 AM

    I've learned something too.Writing to a form is always a challenge, but one we should meet occasionally I think. I'm a fan of alliteration too and your 'pre-destined poignant play' is perfect.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 7, 2013 at 9:27 AM

      Little Nell, I have always enjoyed your stories. Thank you for dropping by and for your delightful words...

      Delete
    2. ninotazizJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:58 AM

      By the way, thank you for letting me know that there is such a thing called alliteration. I never knew! But yes, I have always loved it too.

      Delete
  18. MaryJanuary 7, 2013 at 5:09 AM

    Your poem expresses a universal experience well. Young love...and its transient nature. Beautifully written.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 7, 2013 at 9:28 AM

      Yes, Mary. I am glad you saw that. If only we knew, it wouldn't have hurt as much. But then, it would not be so poignant then...

      Delete
  19. SueannJanuary 7, 2013 at 5:25 AM

    A poignant play deftly covers the image well!!
    Hugs
    SUeAnn

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  20. Woman'n'BeyondJanuary 7, 2013 at 7:04 AM

    lovely!

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  21. Yun YiJanuary 7, 2013 at 7:09 AM

    lovely. each creates its' own impression, and all of them together create a perfect harmony.

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  22. ninotazizJanuary 7, 2013 at 8:36 AM

    I agree. I am new to the Haiku form but I love its rigid rules. The Haibun is particularly beautiful I think, combining poetry and prose.

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  23. Carrie Van HornJanuary 7, 2013 at 8:46 AM

    That first line is glorious Ninot! You always capture love and passion so beautifully! :-)

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 7, 2013 at 9:30 AM

      Aahhhh Carrie, my dearest. What can I say - I am a hopeless romantic. But you knew that, didn't you?

      Delete
  24. LLM CallingJanuary 7, 2013 at 12:05 PM

    pure love

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:50 AM

      Pure joy to see you here. Thanks Emma. I enjoyed my visit over to your blog.

      Delete
  25. Susie ClevengerJanuary 7, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    Beautiful...as so apt for the stages of love.

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:50 AM

      Yes, that's an idea. The different stages of love.... Thanks Susie.

      Delete
  26. J Cosmo NewberyJanuary 8, 2013 at 3:32 AM

    Doomed! Oh that it wasn't so!

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  27. kelvin s.m.January 8, 2013 at 4:58 AM

    .evocative piece of writing...quite inviting to dig deeper like the image itself... just a thing, i think i'm unfamiliar with the word or form 'haibun'...is it a combination of haiku & ?...umm..?

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    1. ninotazizJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:49 AM

      Hi Kelvin! Haibun is a combination of prose and haiku. It is really a lovely format. In my writing, I have always used both prose and poetry to tell folklores. So I naturally gravitated towards haibun - the Japanese way of doing what I instinctively do.

      Delete
  28. Silent Otto January 8, 2013 at 5:44 AM

    Tis a mournful though powerful , wailing dirge

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  29. Al-ManarJanuary 8, 2013 at 4:00 PM

    Like looking at a building I can say it looks strong and beautiful; but I have no idea what are the technicalities that make it strong and beautiful. An architect,professional in his assessment, may not even agree with me. It is a shame to say that what you wrote above looks beautiful with deep philosophical meaning that I can roughly make out. But I can only judge from the number of visitors' comments and what they say. It must indeed be a beauty in the aspects I am totally ignorant of. Well done, Ninot. You inspire many.

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  30. K R SmithJanuary 8, 2013 at 4:37 PM

    It's good to see more poetry on the challenges. Very nice!

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  31. Tumblewords:January 12, 2013 at 11:28 AM

    Universal, surely! Nice piece...

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  32. UnknownJanuary 15, 2013 at 2:58 AM

    Beautiful, as if a journey through love x

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