Midnight Script



image by Daniel Murtagh



In the shadow of the crescent moon, the script of life unfolds for lovers alone.

midnights in summer
celebrate young love and thoughts
of you linger -

Alas, the crescent moon is transient, often lovers are too - and they act out the pre-destined poignant play of lovers doomed.

____________________



I started out tonight to create a haiku that fulfills both the haiku rules and Collom's lune structure. We'll see what happens... Well, here it is. I chose the haibun form. 

It was quite a challenge!



by ninotaziz. all rights reserved



63 comments:

  1. nice...i like your lune....puts me in the mind of those young live...mine were often summer and gone too fast...smiles.

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    1. Thank you Brian! Alas, I missed the link again. No matter. Enjoy the thoughts of summer love.

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  2. Replies
    1. Thank you beautiful woman! How is 2013 for you Helen?

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    2. .. right now I am missing my oldest and youngest sons who traveled to spend the holidays with me.

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    3. I am already entering this phase, Helen. Missing my daughter in university and soon another will follow suit very quickly...

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  3. Replies
    1. Dear Anthony, thank you so much. Love was an easy subject, but the form was challenging!

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  4. So beautiful! I love the form you chose.

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    1. I like writing haiku, Sherry but need to develop the art of creating a deeper feel.

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  5. Very nice.

    And I learned something.

    Two kinds of lunes, when I knew of none.

    Cheers!
    JzB

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    1. Lunes are new to me too. I love the idea that they are named after the 13 lunar months.

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  6. Ninot Ma'am,
    The lune form is versatile allowing syllabic or word counts. You've done it brilliantly here!

    Hank

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    1. Thank you Sir Hank. I love discovering new variations and forms to explore.

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  7. Time goes quickly when lovers meet each other, and they always hope for the moment to last longer. Beautifully written, Ninot!
    I didn't know about the lune form until I read your post today.

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    1. Thank you Zunnur. Yes, love does that. Love your writing, Zunnur, do not stop...

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  8. Replies
    1. Thanks Tess! Beautiful image I must say that just made me want to - well, dress up and walk in the moonlight...

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  9. Replies
    1. Dear Sandra,
      I promptly went over to visit and was hooked the moment I saw your page Cruising in France. I try very hard to learn French - it is difficult with not too many to speak to on a daily basis. Loved the success you have enjoyed being published - perhaps you should pick up that 85000 manuscript again?

      I have been writing forever and have had long quiet periods of not writing, sometimes for years. But now I am seriously inspired to write novels. It has been a long road and there are no detours and shortcuts in sight - I just have to continue to see where I end up.

      Thank you for stopping by.

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  10. Haikus are so difficult.... 'In the shadow of the crescent moon' - so pretty.

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    1. I agree. I am new to the Haiku form but I love its rigid rules. The Haibun is particularly beautiful I think, combining poetry and prose.

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  11. Nothing like young summer love...

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  12. Replies
    1. Thank you for that Rene. How lovely of you...

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  13. Haiku-shaiku! The poem is beautiful because of its expression of universal experience shared, true in any form. But this form suits it well.

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    1. Yes, Stafford. All the world loves love. Happy New Year !

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  14. Replies
    1. Thank you Kathe! How is it in Canada?

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  15. Oh just lovely, lovely, lovely!

    Anna :o]

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    1. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you Anna!

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  16. It reads for me, as if it rolled sweetly from your thoughts!

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    1. What a lovely sentiment Karen. Thank you.

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  17. I've learned something too.Writing to a form is always a challenge, but one we should meet occasionally I think. I'm a fan of alliteration too and your 'pre-destined poignant play' is perfect.

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    1. Little Nell, I have always enjoyed your stories. Thank you for dropping by and for your delightful words...

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    2. By the way, thank you for letting me know that there is such a thing called alliteration. I never knew! But yes, I have always loved it too.

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  18. Your poem expresses a universal experience well. Young love...and its transient nature. Beautifully written.

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    1. Yes, Mary. I am glad you saw that. If only we knew, it wouldn't have hurt as much. But then, it would not be so poignant then...

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  19. A poignant play deftly covers the image well!!
    Hugs
    SUeAnn

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    1. Thank you Sue Ann! The image is an enigma.

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  20. lovely. each creates its' own impression, and all of them together create a perfect harmony.

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  21. That first line is glorious Ninot! You always capture love and passion so beautifully! :-)

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    1. Aahhhh Carrie, my dearest. What can I say - I am a hopeless romantic. But you knew that, didn't you?

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  22. Replies
    1. Pure joy to see you here. Thanks Emma. I enjoyed my visit over to your blog.

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  23. Beautiful...as so apt for the stages of love.

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    1. Yes, that's an idea. The different stages of love.... Thanks Susie.

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  24. .evocative piece of writing...quite inviting to dig deeper like the image itself... just a thing, i think i'm unfamiliar with the word or form 'haibun'...is it a combination of haiku & ?...umm..?

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    1. Hi Kelvin! Haibun is a combination of prose and haiku. It is really a lovely format. In my writing, I have always used both prose and poetry to tell folklores. So I naturally gravitated towards haibun - the Japanese way of doing what I instinctively do.

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  25. Tis a mournful though powerful , wailing dirge

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    1. Thanks Kutamun. Happy New Year to you!

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  26. Like looking at a building I can say it looks strong and beautiful; but I have no idea what are the technicalities that make it strong and beautiful. An architect,professional in his assessment, may not even agree with me. It is a shame to say that what you wrote above looks beautiful with deep philosophical meaning that I can roughly make out. But I can only judge from the number of visitors' comments and what they say. It must indeed be a beauty in the aspects I am totally ignorant of. Well done, Ninot. You inspire many.

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  27. It's good to see more poetry on the challenges. Very nice!

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  28. Beautiful, as if a journey through love x

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