Sara's Winter


Magpie #20

Sara sat crosslegged, cornered
A slip of a shawl
Hanging over her shoulder

She was forlorn, frozen
Quivering smile, unreleased sigh
A misty goodbye in the air - unspoken

Sara barefooted, barefaced
Staring right through you
Dreadfully visible, her lonely ache

The door, ajar
Bristling autumn, cold winter
The seasons forever marred

Everything untouched
An icicle threatenening to crash
On the chilly slab, a forgotten toothbrush...

19 comments:

  1. a simply perfect magpie! loved the feeling of this line.."A misty goodbye in the air - unspoken"

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  2. I feel Sara's pain ... nicely written.

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  3. sounds like Sara is forgotten also.....well done...bkm

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  4. Beautifully written, saddest poem! So much cold imagery and hopelessness.

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  5. Breathtaking poem....so sad yet captivating.

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  6. I logged on and was greeted by all your encouraging comments. Thank you so much. I aimed to make it Sara's saddest winter.

    Please do drop by again.

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  7. There'll be another toothbrush in its place soon enough

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  8. Thanks Stan for your visit! I enjoyed Elephant Small magpies especially Magpie # 19 tremendously.

    Sorry, but I don't think Sara will make it to another toothbrush...we'll see.

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  9. wow such refined work
    lots of work done here
    cutting unnecessary words
    to reveal the true poem
    great work...would love to read more

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  10. what beautiful sadness you create in so few lines...tight magpie...wonderful imagery...

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  11. Dear Suz and Brian,

    Thank you for your visit. I do so love the Magpie Tales community. It feels wonderful to write poetry again after years of abandon.

    Do drop by again.

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  12. Dear Tumblewords,

    Thank you. And thank you for your haiku too.

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  13. simple yet profound.
    objects and emotions.... well done!
    rel

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  14. Very well done, and so sad. you've created great imagery here. I love the line "A misty goodbye in the air - unspoken"

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  15. Great portrait of an unending moment.

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  16. A really haunting piece. I liked how you gave your character a name in the poem, it grounded it, gave it an anchor, making it somehow easier to relate to. Great magpie!

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